If your life today is a product of your past experiences, then it stands to reason that your sex life today reflects your past sexual experiences. And if your early sexual experiences in particular were accompanied by feelings of failure, overwhelming guilt, shame, or humiliation, they may be contributing to ISD.”I had sex for the first time when I was sixteen,” Janet’s husband, Tim, explains. As you may recall, he purposefully set out to lose his virginity to a neighborhood girl with a well-earned reputation for being easy and experienced. “I was so nervous you wouldn’t believe it,” he continues. “It took forever to get hard, and then after I did, I ejaculated right away, maybe fifteen seconds after I was inside her. Man, was she angry about that.” Seven years later, her tirade and his humiliation are still alive in his unconscious memory, reopening old wounds and making him shudder each time he attempts to be sexual.Tim remembers apologizing and explaining that he’d never “gone all the way” before. “And she laughed at me,” he says, “and told me that she could tell I had no idea what I was doing.” Her words still echo in Tim’s mind. “She really hurt me. I guess that scar has never really healed.”Early sexual scars rarely do. “The problem was that I never got any better at it,” Tim says. “It doesn’t seem possible, but things actually got worse.” The performance anxiety he felt during his early disappointing sexual liaisons and the sexual problems he and Janet have encountered since marriage seem to support his claim. “After a while I started to think, ‘What’s the point of trying?’ “*102\261\8*
Coronary artery disease is the leading cause of death for both sexes. It is hard to separate the role of your sex in the development of coronary artery disease from other factors such as smoking, blood pressure, and cholesterol levels. Men and women who smoke or who have high blood pressure or hi blood cholesterol levels have higher risks of heart disease than others who control these factors.When you consider only the sex difference, men are more likely to have coronary artery disease than women-until women reach the age of menopause. Then the difference in risk between men and women shrinks.This difference certainly does not mean that women are “immune” from heart disease. In fact, 47 percent of American victims of fatal heart attack are women. In women, coronary artery disease develops, on the average, about 10 years later than in men.The female hormone estrogen may be one protector against heart disease. After its decline at menopause, women’s risks increase. The use of estrogen after menopause seems to reduce a woman’s risk of heart disease. However, it may increase her risk of cancer in the lining of the uterus (endometrial cancer) and possibly of breast cancer. There is evidence that smoking may reduce estrogen levels in women and may hasten menopause—results that add to its list of bad effects on the heart.Until recently, much of the research relating to coronary artery disease focused mainly on men (see page 336). New studies are under way to determine whether the findings are applicable to women as well.*224\252\8*
Is it safe to use hair dyes during pregnancy?Though blondes – and I suspect brunettes and red-heads too have more fun, they should be aware that hair dyes are absorbed by the scalp, and the chemicals in those dyes can be transmitted to the fetus. This is not to say that they will cause congenital problems in the fetus, but the possibility exists and should not be ignored.My advice: if you want to colour your hair during pregnancy, ask your doctor about the ingredients in the specific product you are using.
I realize that no food additives are good for you, but I’m wondering if there are any that you know of that should be avoided by pregnant women in particular?Avoid all those that have been implicated as possible carcinogens, particularly:• Saccharin• Cyclamates• Sodium nitrite and sodium nitrate (used in most luncheon meats, hot dogs, and smoked or cured commercial products)• Artificial colorings (especially citrus Red No. 2, Orange B, Red No. 3, Red No. 40, and Yellow No. 5)• BHT (butylated hydroxytoluene)I’d also recommend avoiding as many artificial flavorings as possible, as well as quinine (which flavors tonic water and bitter lemon), as this has been implicated in causing birth defects; sulphur dioxide and sodium bisulphate (which can destroy vitamin Bi); MSG (monosodium glutamate; BHA (butylated hydroxyanisole); phosphoric acid and phosphates (which can cause dietary imbalances and have recently been implicated as a factor in the spreading of osteoporosis).
How dangerous, really, are coffee and alcohol for pregnant women? My mother drank coffee and alcohol during her pregnancy and had no problems.Your mother was lucky; other pregnant women might not be. Animal studies have shown that large amounts of caffeine (which coffee, cocoa, chocolate, cola, and many medications contain) may cause birth defects. And alcohol, even in moderate amounts (a couple of whiskies a night) can result in low infant birth weight, as well as cause physical or behavioral abnormalities in the child.Coffee substitutes are easily available at your health store. As for alcohol, I’d advise staying away from it completely. (A wine glass filled with sparkling salt-free seltzer and a wedge of lemon or lime can be psychologically and socially satisfying – and safe.) I’d also recommend checking the labels of any medication you’re taking to be sure they don’t contain either of these two drugs.*15/137/5*