YOUR MARITAL HEALTH/GETTING FIXED UP SEXUALLY: THE SPOUSE SPA

by admin on May 18th, 2009. Filed under General health

Set aside one morning for the spouse spa assignment. It must be a morning and not a late-night encounter. You must be alone and in your private intimacy place. Hire a babysitter if you have to, and take some time off work. You must make this program a priority, for as I pointed out in Chapter One, failure to do so will eventually ob vou both of sexual fulfillment. On two different days, one day for each of you, give your spouse a complete spa treatment. Bathe him or her, wash, dry, and comb the hair, provide a massage that your spouse might like, and wrap her or him comfortably in bed. Bring food, turn on some music, and then read aloud a short story. Do some research for all of this. You will have to interview your nartner to be sure it is a spa day he or she will like and not your version of the day. Find a short story that conveys an important message about your relationship.

“Now you’re talking. I loved that day. I have never, ever enjoyed anything as much,” reported one husband. He was talking about being the spa-er, not the spa-ee, about providing his wife with this opportunity.

“I loved it, too, both parts,” reported his wife. “I don’t know why we didn’t think of it before. I don’t remember getting so turned on.”

There is no rule about not having sex at this time, but the focus is on the spa experience, not the sex. I have not found it helpful to delay sexual interaction in the treatment program, but I warn that anything that was wrong might still be wrong, so the sex just happens. The spa is not a test. If you are thinking of testing your sex, then don’t have sex. Just do the spa experience. If sex is delayed as some type of ultimate end goal, the “real” thing, it is taken out of its natural, intimate context.

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