EXTRAORDINARY STRESS
So much for ordinary everyday stress, but what about extraordinary stress. This is like a hammer hitting an apple. We do not expect much of this stress in our lifetime, but when it comes, even if we are coconuts, we cannot help feeling the impact of the stress.
Loss of loved ones, loss of possessions, tragedies of any kind, or any events of similar magnitude are extraordinary and we are expected to feel the stress badly and most of us will be hurt. The normal biological and psychological reaction to stress as outlined earlier still applies, but is of much greater magnitude and lasts much longer. We call this grief reaction.
When we are hit with a stress hammer, there are two phases: the injury phase and the healing phase:
Injury phase. During the injury phase, we feel the pain. This pain can be in our head as headache or in our chest not unlike a heart attack. Of course, the pain is hurting most of all in the mind. It is a normal defence mechanism of the body to protect the psyche, and the immediate reaction is denial. What has happened is not true, we hope we are dreaming. There is a sense of disbelief: ‘Can somebody tell me this is not true’. This is a form of protection for us from the sudden shock of the extraordinary stress.
Healing phase. The healing phase starts when the body begins to react. We are angry at what has happened; we may be angry at ourselves or angry at the one we have lost. The biological reaction sets us on a chain of tension, anxiety, and depression all mixed up, until we feel exhausted. We are at battle stations all the time, but there is really no enemy. The enemy is ourselves. Some of us feel guilty and question whether there was anything we did wrong that may have led to this loss. We may cry and feel tired and exhausted. This may go on for days.
We need to let this energy out Hysterical crying and weeping is common. Sharing this locked up energy with someone is sometimes useful; just talking about it, airing our thoughts can be helpful. Some like taking long walks, some like rearranging and cleaning out their desks, or just doing something that may be purposeful but relaxing.
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